Barely on the job one day, and already I can see that I am going to have to crack my knuckles up side some fool's head in my usual style of ensuring Compliance. I received this note this morning (names have been changed to protect the indigent):
Sharky,
[Person who shall remain nameless] here. Glad you got oriented. Now to work.
Someone crapped on my desk. I think it's [woman of song lore who was of ill repute]. I think [name of common fruit which I must keep confidential] is covering it up. I think [unnamed executive who must cover up bad hair with chicken container] is probably just laughing her ass off and doing nothing. Can you start an investigation?
PS: Someone defaced my kitty cat calendar too.
Don't look now, but if you find a "death card" laying on your desk, you might want to start putting your affairs in order.
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