Too Who Concern

COMPLIANCE DEPARTMENT

TO: Jane Smith, CEO

CC: BucketheadCFO

RE: Patient Letter

I stopped by the Hospital this afternoon to see my office (which I now see is a converted janitors closet on a lockdown unit) and was handed this letter by a gentleman on the unit.

Happy Hiney Hospital
22222 Serosanguenous Avenue
Wherethefuckami, Texas

Too Who Concern:

I am post this letter you about may mamma who you patient. 324A by the bathroom.
My mamma stink. You not clean her ass 4 days. Nothing. Last night I catch nurse eating mamma goldfish crackers and drinking her apple juice, and going through her pockets. Nurse last week stole mamma’s pills. She old lady. Why you steal and let her stink?

At night, nurses play poker and smoke and drink and throw dice.

Let me finish by saying mamma don’t like grits.

I am made and will attorney if you don’t make mamma stop stink. Jim Adler tough smart make you pay.


Luther Cobblebritches
(My mamma name Ms. Naheem Cobblebritches – she in 324A by the bathroom)

Knowing that I was not yet generally oriented to the Hospital, I went into room 324A near the bathroom, and while I did not touch anything, I can confirm that his mamma's ass does indeed stink, and that there are poker chips under the nurses station desk.

I will be available to discuss in more detail after I have completed generatl orientation next week.

-Captain Sharky